05

Jul

um. i’m bored with this so…im quitting.

ha.

it was a good 5 months.

come join me over here though, if you want!

03

Jul

'cause it's not for knowledge that we come to college…

My cell phone auto corrects the word “sorority” with the word “sobriety”.

Which, I’m pretty sure if you were to right click “sorority” on a word document, it would offer “sobriety” as it’s antonym.

I mean. At least where I come from.

20

Jun

True Love.
Instead of writing something about great my dad is, I’m gonna let Joanna do it through a text she sent me today -
"If u talk to your dad later. please tell him happy fathers day for me - one of the very best dad i know. I would tell hiM myself but i don’t have his number"
"And also bc im drunksicles at the pool"
true story.

True Love.

Instead of writing something about great my dad is, I’m gonna let Joanna do it through a text she sent me today -

"If u talk to your dad later. please tell him happy fathers day for me - one of the very best dad i know. I would tell hiM myself but i don’t have his number"

"And also bc im drunksicles at the pool"

true story.

19

Jun

Justin

See that little boy right there? The one in between those two cute girls? That’s my big brother.

He is simultaneously my fiercest protector and the one person who gets me into more trouble than anyone else.

If you’ve ever met him, I can say with complete confidence that he is the funniest person you’ve ever met.

To accurately portray the role of the little sister, I am annoying, needy and almost always jealous of him. And no one know how to push my buttons like he does. With one word he can make me burst into tears or laugh until I cry. (Brother, please use your powers for good.)

But for the rest of you, you’ll all just laugh. And be overwhelmingly compelled to be near him. And listen to his crazy stories. And not even realize how severely you’re getting seduced by his charm.

He’s the all powerful Justo Magusto. And today is his birthday.

Happy 29th. I love you.

…oh and look. Obviously you can tell that there is another little sister in our sibling make up, but it’s not her birthday so back off.

17

Jun

holdthewhippedcream:

GUYS!! BrosIcingBros.com is down… is this the end of an era??

Only if you let it be. Only if you let it.
Keep on keeping on. 

holdthewhippedcream:

GUYS!! BrosIcingBros.com is down… is this the end of an era??

Only if you let it be. Only if you let it.

Keep on keeping on. 

16

Jun

DUDE!

KATE GOSSLING MADE 500,000 DOLLARS FOR BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS FOR 5 WEEKS!

HER NEW REALITY SHOW IS BRINGING IN 700,000 DOLLARS!

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, EVERY ONE, PLUG YOUR EARS AND GO “LA LA LA” UNTIL SHE GOES AWAY.

tlc is paying jon gossling to not be on this show. i wish they would do the same.

13

Jun

I want TV. I WANT TV SO BAD!!

during the day, I’m fine. NPR and music keeps me company and so does my pool.

Oh, and work…I have a job.

But the evening time, when I’m tired and don’t want to think and just want to be entertained and zone out…that’s when I want it. I haven’t yet, but I’ve considered breaking this month several times. Jeff’s will power is stronger than mine and he won’t let me.

Mean while, as an early birthday present I got a kitten.

His name is Harold.

He’s currently fighting the trashcan. He’s awesome.

11

Jun

bestiesonice:

I’m walking up the hill onto the Sunset strip to go to my dentist (they’re right next to Sunset Tan, barf) because dumb dumb forgot to do something after giving me 4 bondings that allows me to floss next to those 4 teeth. I’m also considering this roughly .7 mile walk each way my exercise for the day.

Oh, and also, I had an iphone dropped on my face the other morning while I was trying to sleep. 

New high? Or new low?

 at least you didn’t have a turd dropped on your face.

09

Jun

thedailywhat:

Sign Of The Times of the Day: Spotted outside the White House.
Your Logic: It’s air tight.
[cyn-c.]

 And showers wern’t around when “you” were born so you’ve been grandfathered in to the socially acceptable levels of cleanliness?

thedailywhat:

Sign Of The Times of the Day: Spotted outside the White House.

Your Logic: It’s air tight.

[cyn-c.]

 And showers wern’t around when “you” were born so you’ve been grandfathered in to the socially acceptable levels of cleanliness?

07

Jun

The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet - A novel by Rief Larsen

This is my new favorite book of all time. I read the last page and then promptly started back at page 1.

***************************

"You know much about the sparrow?"

"Well, not too much," I said. "I know they are  very aggressive and kick other birds out of their nests. And they are everywhere. I guess sometimes I wish I wasn’t named Sparrow."

"Why?"

"Maybe I could have been a whippoorwill or a kiskadee."

"But you were born a sparrow."

"Yes."

"And not just a sparrow, but a Tecumesh Sparrow."

"Yes. You can call me T.S. for short"

"Do you know the story of the pine tree and the sparrow, T.S.?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

He took one last bite of his apple and gracefully tossed the core over one of the trains. I could watch him throw apple cores all day. He wiped his hands on his shirt and looked at me sqaure in the eye. “Well, it was one of the stories that my grandmother told me when I was a child.” He paused, wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Follow me,” he said.

I followed him over to a boxcar, beneath one of the bright yard lights.

"Won’t we be seen?"

He shook his head and then put his hands up near the door of the boxcar. I thought maybe he was trying to conjure the door open, because his fingers were wrapping around themselves in strange ways. I waited.

"You see it?" he said.

"What?" I asked.

"The shadow," he said.

And of course, there it was. A perfect sparrow flying across the rusted wall of the boxcar.

He took his hands away and the sparrow disappeared, the wall returning to its previous state of rusty emptiness.

He closed his eyes for a second and then began speaking again, his voice now deep and sonorous. “Once…there was a sparrow who was very ill. He could not go south with the rest of his family and so he sent them along, saying that he would find shelter for the winter and meet them in the spring. The sparrow looked his son in the eye and said, ‘I will see you again.’ And the son believed him.”

Two Clouds was very good at becoming the papa sparrow looking his sparrow son in the eye. He continued:

"The sparrow went to an oak tree and asked if he could hide in his leaves and branches for the winter to keep warm, but the oak refused. My grandmother used to say that the oak trees were cold, hard trees with tiny hearts. My grandmother…" Two Clouds stopped and seemed to get lost for a second. He shook his head.

"Sorry," he said. "Well, after this the sparrow went to a maple tree and asked the same question. The mpale tree was kinder than the oak tree but it also refused to shelter the bird. The sparrow asked every tree he came to if they might house him from the deadly weather: the beech, the aspen, the willow, the elm. The all said no. Can you believe this?"

"Can I believe what?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Don’t answer the question. It is part of the story."

"Oh," I said.

"Well, the first snow came," he said. "And the sparrow was deperate. Finally he flew over to the pine tree. ‘Will you house me for the winter?’ the sparrow asked. ‘But I can’t offer you much protection,’the pine said. ‘I only have needles that let in the wind and cold.’ It is all right,’ said the sparrow, shivering. And so the pine agreed. Finally! And do you know what?"

I bit my tounge. I did not answer him.

"With the tree’s protection, the sparrow survived the long winter. When the spring came and the wildflowers bloomed in the hills, he was rejoined by his family. The son was overjoyed. He never thought he would see his father again. When the Creator heard this story, he was angry with the trees. ‘You did not shelter a tiny sparrow in need,’ He said. ‘We are sorry,’ said the trees. ‘You will never forget this sparrow,’ the Creator said. And after that, He caused all of the trees to lose their leaves each fall…well, almost all of the trees. Because it was kind to the poor bird, the pine got to keep its short little needles all winter long."

He stopped “What do you think of that story?”

"I’m not sure," I said.

"But it’s a good one, right?"

"Yes, you told it very well," I said.

"Actually, I am not sure if the story is really about a sparrow or a different bird. I have a bad memory these days."

Later, after I had some time to do a few quick calculations, I found that the insulating properties of pine needles would not have saved the sparrow. It was a good story, but Two Cloud’s grandmother had told him lies.